I AM SAYING NO. Because I can, thank you very much


download (12)So I don’t know about you but I grew up in a family with no boundaries. It was awkward. Especially when later in life I discovered you’re not supposed to say yes to everything (no is a word?? huh, since when?).

Handling situations was interesting when I entered the real world. I would find myself easily stressed and feeling pulled in every direction.

I thought that was normal, and there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, why else are there people in Starbucks all day hyped-up on coffee. Are they NOT running around fixing problems that had nothing to do with them? Maybe I shouldn’t use Starbucks as my marker of what is sane.

But, apparently, that word ‘NO’ is a good solution for the madness I found incurable. Ha, well that’s interesting. Too bad I didn’t listen to those giving me the advice.

For years I just kept doing what I knew best, work work work, stress, stress, stress. Not take care of myself then crash. Crash and burn badly. Get mad at everyone in my life for “doing this to me”. More blah blah blah complaints. Get up and do it again for another year. Pretty common.

Until…  I decided I wanted more. It just got too painful. I needed to think about myself first. I have written about this concept time and time again, and can you believe it, it is still a struggle to work on every day. It has been ingrained in me to NOT put myself first, so obviously, it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park to turn it around. It was going to take a lot of mindfulness in my actions and discipline in saying NO.

A long time ago, I was given an exercise to say NO for an entire day. Doesn’t matter what the person asks, or who asks the question, the answer for that day is NO. I never actually completed the exercise. It scared the hell out of me and seemed impossible. But today is a new day, and I am pulling that challenge back out.

For one whole day (a day I will not announce to anyone else) I will say NO. I will say NO, NO NO because I can.  And what better way to get into the rhythm of finally saying it then doing it for a whole freaking day.

Will it be awkward? Yep. Most likely. Will it feel uncomfortable? I am sure it will. But without change, there will be no results. And I want results.